Bidets are the most hygienic, energizing, and ecofriendly post-soil clean for everyone, but, like so many things in life, one bidet may not fit all. Washing experiences vary across lines of gender, culture – even different life stages determine varied potty protocol. While everyone has different preferences, priorities, and problems in the powder room, perhaps the most nagging questions arise from that wall separating the men’s room from the ladies’ room.
" How do men use a bidet" and "How do women use a bidet" – These are the most commonly posed questions in the business of, like, doing your business… These questions tend to get pretty involved, so let’s settle the myths and misconceptions, sort you out, and set you on your way to bathroom bliss.
With today’s advanced bidets and luxury bidet seats, the question isn’t so much about how you find the stream, but more about how the stream finds you. Of course, every bidet comes stock with the rear wash nozzle. These are great for standard pooping practices in both males and females, but advanced models now feature oscillating and dual nozzle technology to cover all the bases with both posterior and feminine washes – totally changing the way men and women differ in the modern scheme of lavatorial hygiene.
The advent of feminine front wash technology means a whole host of female health and hygiene concerns are now covered at the touch of a button.
Many of the issues that women struggle with like menstrual cycles, urinary tract infections, bladder infections, and postpartum hygiene are more easily managed with regular – and somewhat exciting – visits to a well-equipped toilet seat. The front or feminine wash feature, available on higher-end bidets, makes it possible to easily rid those sensitive lady bits of harmful infection-causing bacteria and endometrial particles.
The general consensus is that everyone poops. There are entire case-bound, fully-illustrated endeavors into the world of children’s literature dedicated to the crux of this thesis alone, and for the most part everyone sort of poops the same way. Of course, there are certain stigmas across lines of gender here; questions of like flow rate, volume, volatility, etc., but the hard (or maybe soft?) science behind what comes from our behinds suggests that, no, men and women yield just about the same product – though, how we produce it does have its variances.
Because women are tasked with a few extra responsibilities, like creating and nurturing human life (thanks!), they tend to sport slightly wider pelvises, a few extra internal organs (uterus and ovaries), and have a less rigid abdomen than their male counterparts. All this makes it a bit more challenging for women to push food through the GI tract, and can lead to bloating and constipation.
In terms of the rear wash, while many men are able to enjoy the subtle pleasures of a hi-tech, anally invigorating bidet clean, the benefits may extend a bit further for females. With the pressure and flexibility controls on modern bidet seats, it’s now even easier to turn the concentrated spray into a more comfortable enema-like experience. This helps women keep things moving, be it during a pregnancy, that time of the month, or simply because they may sometimes need a bit more help than men.
Hemorrhoids are another great reason to dial in that rear wash and let it rip. While these swollen and inflamed veins affect both ladies and gentlemen, circumstances like pregnancy and postpartum recovery may leave women more susceptible. Deploying an offensive of warm, soothing water to these sensitive areas is a much better option than your standard wipe down. By avoiding all things abrasive, especially after giving birth, an instance of hemorrhoids and inflammation is sure to heal quicker and cleaner.
Whatever brings you to the throne, whether you’re a male, or a female, or anyone in between, you can rest assured that the standard rear wash nozzle is going to leave you spotless and unsoiled so you can tackle whatever it is that excites you beyond the bathroom.
How Do Women Use A Bidet?
Women obviously use a toilet differently from men and can address both a number one and a number two from the sitting position. With a bidet, this becomes more of a convenience than the curse it’s typically been considered with conventional toilets. For women, bidet protocol is two-part depending on what brings them to the throne. For a pee, it’s simple: sit down, do your business, initiate a front wash, pat dry with toilet paper, and be on your way. For the number two: sit down, do your business, then initiate posterior and feminine wash, in whichever order you like, pat dry with toilet paper, and voila!
Tinea cruris, or more commonly known by its playful pseudonym “jock itch,” is a common fungus or rash that affects males almost exclusively. This red, itchy, sometimes painful and odorous rash thrives in certain anatomical structures particular to the male groin and backside regions.
The fungus is transmittable from person to person, much the same way athlete’s foot is spread, through skin-to-skin contact and shared items such as clothing or towels. Like all fungi, it thrives in dark, damp environments. Thankfully, this not-so-fun fungus is easily treatable and bidets are a great tool in the battle to keep men and their junk free from itch!
Since bacteria from sweat and improper, wipe-only bathroom hygiene feed these fungi and accelerate their growth, it’s important to keep your jock area as clean as possible throughout the day. Both the posterior and front wash features of modern bidets are excellent tools in helping get men squeaky clean, allowing them to completely dry and apply the needed powders, sprays, and ointments with no residual bacteria from sweat or poop!
UTIs in women aren’t the only bacterial infections common to the world of lax bathroom hygiene. Men can also get into trouble here with a chronic condition called bacterial prostatitis, and unlike jock itch, this condition has no clever nickname – because it’s no joke. Bacterial prostatitis can be very painful and last for months. It’s caused by infections in the prostate and can result in swelling, inflammation, even UTIs in men. Symptoms of this condition include pain in the lower back, pain between the genitals and anus, pain above the pelvic bone, pain while urinating and during bowel movements, and pain in the testicles. Yeah, not cool. According to a study by the International Journal of Antimicrobial Agents, bidets are a great way to prevent this condition.
Using a bidet ensures you’re getting a deep clean close to the prostate without irritating the area and forcing bacteria back up to your prostate. Bidets also aid in relieving constipation, which can affect the prostate and lead to bacterial prostatitis.
How Do Men Use A Bidet?
For men, using a bidet is simple. Simply sit down and do your thing, activate the posterior wash, pat dry, and get on with your manly duties. If you’re suffering from jock itch, you could also wash the area more thoroughly and use the front wash before drying completely and applying medication.